No Matter What, There are Bad Days
This one really hits home right now because I am a couple days off one of the worst flares I have ever had. I usually get 2-3 really debilitating, all-out flares a year and this week was the week. A few days ago, my very normal day ended with me on the couch with an intense migraine, nausea, no muscle strength whatsoever and shooting nerve pain from head to toe- not exactly the Friday night I had in mind. It has been quite a while since my last one, and it’s a big reminder that no matter what I do to take care of my body, there will still be times when it just stops working.
Here is the progression that usually goes down. That morning and afternoon were normal, I was out running errands and felt fine. Late afternoon I started getting a headache that turned into a throbbing migraine, which then caused me to get super nauseas. I went to lay on the couch to help it go away and that’s when I realized it was a flare coming on. Within a few hours I had lost all the strength in my body and could feel the nerve pain everywhere. For any of you who experience episodic flares, I am there with you- they are the absolute worst thing on this planet. This time though, I tried really hard to have a better mindset about the whole thing and I think it made a difference.
Normally when I have an episode like this, it mentally tears me down. On top of being physically miserable, I’m lying there thinking about how angry and frustrated I am and how it isn’t fair. Now I know that isn’t helpful for anybody, but let’s be real- it is the very normal human response to your body shutting down out of nowhere. However, I have been working on not letting this condition affect me so much mentally (which is very hard to do) and tried to focus on other things instead.
As a brief side note: Having my husband be there for me has helped because I no longer feel like I am fighting this alone 100% of the time, but regardless of having someone else to lean on, this is something we all need to learn how to do if we are going to keep our illnesses from defining our lives.
I suggest starting with the basics. Eating and drinking the things that will nourish your body and help it heal, instead of junk food that it only going to make it worse (trust me, I know it sounds good in the moment). If there are medications your doctor has told you to take, those fit in here too because they will also help get the worst of whatever symptoms you have under control. No matter what our body throws at us, we are in control of how we respond to it.
I also have to reminded myself it won’t last forever. My flares usually last about 24 hours, so I was thinking about what things I could do from the couch that I enjoy but usually wouldn’t waste time doing. This led to me reading many interior decorating magazines and getting all new ideas for what I want to change come spring time (cue my husband’s panic). We watched a bunch of new holiday movies we hadn’t seen yet, and got to try out our wood-burning fireplace for the first time. I tried to focus on finding things I could do, and things I liked doing, that maybe otherwise I wouldn’t sit down and get to. Other ideas are adult (or not- no judgment from me) coloring books, puzzles, reading, online shopping and taking a relaxing bath.
Having bad days, from just blah to a full-blown flare, is inevitable. How we deal with them, take care of ourselves during them, and overcome them is so important. It can make all the difference in the world in how we feel when it is over. These days remind us it is okay were not perfect (or remotely close to it) and give us an opportunity to really show some self-love. Eating healthy, taking long baths for those body pains, doing things that make us happy like watching movies and reading magazines are all good things for us to do. Challenge yourself the next time you’re having a bad day to really take care of yourself. Instead of beating your body up for what it can’t do, find things that make you happy. I think you’ll find, like I did, that the time goes by a little bit quicker and when the flare finally does pass, you will be in a much better place mentally than you would have been had you only focused on the bad.